Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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