Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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