is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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