dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
