Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize