hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
