Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Everything about him screamed your future.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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