farters have to be the big spoon...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
