I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It's just like the Real World with babies
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
