I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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