I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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