I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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