apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
