OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize