I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
