Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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