Its about making memories worth repressing
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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