Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize