Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Randomize
