Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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