Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
