I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This is my gift to your gina
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
