I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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