Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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