Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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