i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
