I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
