No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
