Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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