Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
