Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize