so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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