Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
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