dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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