my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
