so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
