I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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