Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
