So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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