I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
