so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
