So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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