Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
