Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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