soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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