What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
