So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
