I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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