you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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