Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
