I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
