I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
