some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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