Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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