just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
