I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
