Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
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