She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
