Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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