Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize